By Patricia Young
Guilt, even though natural in all of us, is a very heavy and heartbreaking emotion, that sometimes we suffer in silence, and prevents us from loving ourselves and seeing our true potential. Guilt is our own imprisonment. This emotion can be debilitating.
Guilt is appropriate at a healthy level, otherwise, anarchy would exist in the world. Sometimes, the reaction to guilt is a signal that maybe we need to take actions to correct situations. Feeling guilty could make us feel empathy and be more sensitive, it will help us learn, grow and re-examine our behavior so we don’t make the same mistakes in the future.
If we have a loving relationship with ourselves, we won’t have to make amends to get approval from others or to be liked by others, we will do it to feel better about ourselves. The longer we take to make the amends or deal with the issues, the more stories we will tell to ourselves and we would be packing on judgment about the guilt. This is when guilt becomes debilitating.
We feel we want to do the right thing, but we need to pay attention and be aware if we are criticizing and blaming ourselves, beating our self-esteem. Sometimes we want things to be ‘perfect’ to feel enough, and when we can’t live up to our expectations, if we are not good enough, we feel guilty.
Guilt can come from fear, and if not controlled, it will not let us learn from our experiences and be honest with ourselves and others. While we feel guilty we’re seeing ourselves as victims. Playing this role will only bring us pain. Forgiving ourselves first is liberating.
Next time you feel guilty ask yourself: What are the reasons that are driving me to feel that I need to do the right thing? Is it perfectionism? Is it because I am avoiding conflict? Am I looking for approval or others to like me? Or, is it because that’s what I do, and it comes from a place of love and I want to be a better person?
When you feel guilty you cannot give your greatness to the world. Forgive yourself first, make amends if needed, learn and grow form the experience and move on…
Great question to ask to get free from guilt Patricia
Patricia, I recently experienced what you’re talking about. I processed my feelings and thoughts and gave myself approval to shed the guilt. I did this using methods I’ve studied and implemented over many years. The process is much quicker for me now than in the past. My clients see quicker shifts after working with these concepts over time as will yours.
Continue posting these great articles for people to learn these concepts to fully maximize their experience and impact.
Cher Gunderson
Masteryouraccent.com
Really great submit matter Patricia. Really glad you covered it!
Great question at end of article for reflection! Thank you!
I also like the questions at the end! Very helpful.
Guilt is such a difficult emotion. It can keep us stuck in the past and unable to move forward. Thanks for helping to put this emotion into perspective.
This is a great article on a topic that plagues many of us. And I love the powerful questions you ask at the end! ~ I feel so strongly about this topic, that I dedicated an entire chapter to “mother’s guilt” in my book, Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother’s Path to Self-Discovery. ~ Thank you for your continued work in the area of self-empowerment for women!
Patricia - such an important topic as I don’t know anyone who doesn’t struggle with guilt at one time or another. Shame can sometimes be in the mix as well and is much harder to heal - So I will go with working with the guilt and perhaps make a list of my “guilty pleasures” to balance it all out