By Patricia Young
Most likely all of us, at some point in our lives, have been hurt by words or actions of others. The hurt and wounds can leave feelings of bitterness, resentment and anger for years. We can get to the point in which we feel entitled to feel like a victim because of what others did to us. Those feelings are not protecting us but harming us, locking us up in an emotional prison filled with hurt.
The truth is that until we forgive we are the ones paying the highest price. Only when we truly forgive, we will be free of pain, hurt and anger. Our lives can become so overwhelmed by these feelings that they will affect our current relationships and our ability to connect with others. We won’t be able to enjoy the present and it will definitely affect our health in many different ways.
The reality is that whatever was the act that hurt us, it will always be there, unfortunately, we cannot change the past. But we can change how we live our present. Forgiveness is a powerful choice to move on with our lives and strive for a better life!
Forgiving someone does not mean that we approve what they did, it doesn’t justify their wrong. It means that we forgive the person, not the act. Forgiving is not for the other person, forgiving is about US, not about them…
An important piece of the forgiveness process is forgiving our thoughts and beliefs about what happened. We need to forgive our judgments about what we think should have been. We have to give up the thought that the past could have been different or better… we can’t change the past, so we can’t let the past hold us prisoners.
Forgiveness is a conscious decision and a state of mind that we can cultivate through daily practice. It helps us to keep our energy clear. When we embrace forgiveness, we also embrace peace, hope, gratitude, joy and general well-being. When we embrace forgiveness, we embrace who we are and who we have become today. When we embrace forgiveness we are retaking the power and control over our own lives. Forgiveness gives us Freedom!
There are plenty of medical studies that show that just by forgiving we see improvement in our health: lower stress and anxiety levels, less depression, healthier and closer relationships, a healthier heart, lower levels of blood pressure, lower levels of physical pain, better immune system function, etc. By forgiving we heal from the inside out.
As you can see, forgiving has more benefits than disadvantages…so even if you don’t want to or feel it’s unfair, forgive everyone and everything, forgive yourself, your thoughts, your beliefs, your judgments about everything. Start with yourself first if you want, and you will start noticing how a whole new world of possibilities opens up for you…
Forgiveness is important. And so many perceive it as letting someone off the hook so to speak. It’s sets US free. And doesn’t mean you’ve decided what someone did is now ok, you just let go for yourself.
If a person is empowered with forgiveness, he is likely to have peace of mind and heart. Thanks for your very informative article.
Nicely done! I definitely agree with all you’ve said, including what I think is a key element — forgiving yourself.
Very nice article. It is so true that not forgiving and forgetting hurts us more than “them.”
I forgive!! Agreed! this is a top shelf concept for everyone! That and appreciation!! great job! P
Great post! It is so important to forgive ourselves in an effort to move forward. Not always the easiest thing to do (especially with others involved) but well worth it in the long run! Thanks for sharing!
I agree about forgiveness being about ME. It is a huge relief to forgive but I always say it doesn’t mean I will completely forget the act because I have to remind myself to not allow someone to ever do it to me again.
Great article! I agree that it is key to forgive yourself.
So well said. It seems that we need this constant reminder of what forgiveness really means. It is there to help us more than the other. One may need to do this over and over until the pain isn’t there anymore. It sometimes takes time!
Makes sense to me why hold on to bad feelings. Great post.
Such a great article. It is so hard to forgive but critical if we want to move on and have a healthy happy life.
Great article. I agree forgiveness is important. Holding onto negative feelings will just eat away at you.
This is such an important lesson that should be learned early and practiced often as an adult.
Forgiveness can be so empowering in our lives. We each hold on to so many things from our past and by forgiving, it can most definitely be a gateway to a brighter future.
I like that you brought up the issue of letting go of judgments of what should have been. That can be such a hook we can get caught on.
Yes! What a great topic. Sometimes it is hard to forgive ourselves but it is so needed for healing. Thank you for sharing.
This is a powerful and rich post, Patricia! ~ It reminds me of a quote I ran across a few years ago, “Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” ~ The same is true in the forgiveness of ourselves. ~ Letting go of our anger, resentment, and any regret over how we may have responded in the moment is key in moving forward.
Thanks, Patricia. Frequent reminders about the huge value in forgiveness are so helpful!
Thanks for this reminder of the power of forgiveness Patricia.
Cher Gunderson
masteryouraccent.com
Patricia,
This is such an important topic on freeing ourselves and the other person involved. I recently experienced this with my Dad while visiting him. This is a huge layer to healing and not always easy. I think so important! Thank you!
Martha
Thank you Patricia for sharing the Forgiveness article,it is a key element to freedom:)
I agree it is the judging of life events that can get us stuck.
Thanks Patricia for help us to set our minds on forgiveness. So needed these days and new aspects of how important forgiving is.